Dramatic? Perhaps. Real? Arguably.
There are so many aspects of what I do that I understand and am able to do well. I've grown up alongside this ministry and feel like I have a fairly good handle on much of what is happening around me. While there are aspects I may not always enjoy, I am still able to accomplish them fairly successfully and celebrate the impact they have in the long run.
This does not fall in that category. This falls in the "I am making it up as I go along and am no where closer to the solution and yet I'm supposed to be the expert" category.
Dramatic? Perhaps. Real? Yup!
I am supposed to be working on a project for work and I feel like I understand what I'm suppose to do and yet NOTHING is working right. I follow every step, search for advice, ask questions of experts and just when I think I have things working, I'm told the problems haven't been resolved. I know it's just a season and this project will get finished and it will eventually be great, but I'm not feeling it today. As the hours tick by to the end of another day, I've made backwards progress. I've actually undone my progress from the past two days.
I wouldn't care so much if this (lack of) progress were only affecting me. I can handle my inability to accomplish when I'm the only one being bothered, but when there are numerous people (representing and running an entire ministry) that are unable to fully do their jobs…I get frustrated. The funny thing is, I don't necessarily want to just quit. I know this project is worthwhile and, in the end, will make everything so much better. But right now, I want to scrap everything and start from scratch. I want to shake previous stakeholders who made poor decisions. I want to hand it off to the true experts and say "just fix it." I want to go back to what I know well and do well.
So how do I learn to use a slingshot quickly? How do I tackle the giant that is shouting insults and laughing in my face? Well, I guess I should probably do what David did.
- Don't try to be someone you're not. David knew the armor and weapons were way beyond him. He didn't try to quick take lessons in sword fighting or run laps to get used to the weight of the breastplate. He took it off and relied on what the Lord had given him.
- Recognize who is in front. David knew that God was going before him. He was not stepping out onto the battlefield alone. He was believing that God was with him and for him.
- Take a deep breath. Ok, so the Bible doesn't say he took a deep breath, but I'm pretty sure that happened. A couple deep breaths gives your crazies a chance to settle and for your mind to catch up.
- Do what you know. David knew slingshots. He knew defeating enemies (even if they were usually on all fours and growling). He knew that if he acted according to the gifts and talents and skills that God had given him, he would be successful.
It's funny how a little guy like David can bring so much perspective to life. I may only have a couple stones and may not be the most likely candidate, but I know God has put me in this position for a reason. He will use this project (and other ones, I'm sure) to prepare me for the future…whether or not it's on a royal throne.